firstlightofeos: (Magic.)
[personal profile] firstlightofeos
[personal profile] firstlightofeos and [profile] writing_freak88's combined review of the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie (X-posted in [profile] writing_freak88):

[profile] writing_freak88 says: A long, long time ago in a land far, far away, there was the Girl Who Lived And Happened To Work In A Movie Theatre. And she happened to be bullied into taking a 4'10" midget to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with her when the staff screened it early. After some bullying by her fellow coworkers (which nearly gave them heart attacks), a quick showing of Ratatouille, and some pink lemonade+, they saw it. And this is their very comedic review.

[personal profile] firstlightofeos: Better than I expected it to be. But then again, I'd prepared myself for the worst. Evanna Lynch (Luna) and Imelda Staunton (Umbridge) were brilliant, and I loved their performances; Gary Oldman (Sirius) wasn't too shabby, either, though there was some sentimentality in the Harry/Sirius scenes that was just cheesy. As we expected, though, Snape's Worst Memory was a bit of a disappointment (okay, a huge disappointment, but I didn't expect much of that, again), but that wasn't a big surprise.
[profile] writing_freak88: WHERE WAS LILY???? Geez Louise, what do these movies have against the Marauders? And no two-way mirror?????? Gah!! Also, although I'm not a fan-fiction person myself, I can tell many, many Harry/Umbridge and Fudge/Umbridge things will appear. Dirty things. Ewwww.
[personal profile] firstlightofeos: To clarify on [profile] writing_freak88's Harry/Umbridge fics, it'll be non-con, and very, very, very dirty. Almost like child abuse. (These are Restricted Section fics I'm talking about.)
[profile] writing_freak88: Yes, [personal profile] firstlightofeos, it will be alot like child abuse because, um, IT IS. Forcing kids to cut their hand open is what we like to call 'child abuse', also known as 'cruel and unusual punishment' or 'torture' in some places.
[personal profile] firstlightofeos: Acknowledged. I was just trying to be nice about it.
[profile] writing_freak88: Thank you. You know what would be good punishment for Umbridge? Having to live/have sex with Snape.
[personal profile] firstlightofeos: Thank you for that extremely disturbing mental image. Gross.
[profile] writing_freak88: Anytime (although I find Evanna's Dumbledore/Luna image far more disturbing).
[personal profile] firstlightofeos: Okay, was trying not to think about that. Shall we move on to the actual movie now?
[profile] writing_freak88: But why? This is so much fun, we're making huge fools of ourselves.
[personal profile] firstlightofeos: Yes, but I think we may be boring others.
[profile] writing_freak88: Fine.

Okay, so as soon as the movie started (because it was a special showing, there weren't any credits), we both started bouncing and had to hold in our squeals. Christine's coworkers were not surprised (they'd brought duck tape to use if she got too loud, but I like to think I managed to hold her excitement in--as well as my own--pretty well).

So. The beginning. *grins* Gangster Dudley! Where the hell did he get those clothes, and how many poor black children did he have to beat up to get them? ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Dude, and that necklace?? I think they may have filmed that part in Oakland. Personally, I don't recall English people looking like gangsta 50 Cent wannabes.) Definitely looked very white trash. Seriously, does Petunia realize what her son looks like to others?

Anyway. The Dementor scene...was not bad, though I think they dragged out the soul-sucking for a little too long. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: And since when could they pin people to the wall, anyway? And they missed Harry doing his first bit of wandless magic, too.) ([personal profile] firstlightofeos agrees with [profile] writing_freak88.) Then, Mrs. Figg! *grins* She was...interesting. Didn't explain that she was a Squib, though, but then again, there's no mention of Squibs in the movies, anyway. (([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: In a deleted scene in CoS they have Filch and his Kwikspell.) ([personal profile] firstlightofeos: Did not know that.) And then Vernon and Petunia's reaction was lovely (([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Out of Monty Python; very British comedy), and the talking letter from Mafalda Hopkirk was a nice touch, though we were both very upset by the lack of "REMEMBER MY LAST, PETUNIA," as that lessens the importance of Petunia's character and makes the whole Petunia-Dumbledore correspondence that we've been questioning for so long take a back seat to Kreacher in importance. V. upsetting. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: At the rate they're losing plot points, I don't know how they'll make Deathly Hallows. Not that I know what Deathly Hallows is about, but, you know.)

Okay, then. The Advance Guard. I, personally, was irritated by the fact that they put Kingsley in traditional African garb, though I liked that he still had his earring, and his accent was fun ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Voice was perfect; he had that deep, wheezy, slow voice). Tonks and her interaction with Moody was lovely, but missing Lupin wasn't so much fun. Some great shots of London during the flying, too, though I wouldn't have minded losing those for some more plot points (e.g. the letter, the two-way mirrors, LILY EVANS). The lack of explanation of Dumbledore as Secret Keeper for the Order and the name of the place where they were staying (it was mentioned later, but only those who had read the books would catch on) were kind The house was all right, but there was a distinct lack of Mrs. Black (some muttering behind the curtain, but precious little else, and I did enjoy her appearances in the book). ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: I heard they had green screen for her, but I don't know if they cast anyone..... that could easily be a deleted scene. Apparently, when Helen McCorry was Bellatrix, they were trying to get Helena Bonham Carter to play Mrs. Black.) Kreacher was, in his few moments of screen time, perfect.

Next, the trial. Fun scene, though the hats were a little weird. Umbridge's first appearance...priceless. Imelda Staunton has the horrible "Hem, hem" down pat, and I loved her as an actress from that moment (hated her character, of course; by the end of the movie, I wanted to jump in there and kill her with my bare hands). ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Also, nice bit with Arthur Weasley in the Muggle underground station. Also, there is a picture of Cornelius Fudge in the Ministry that seems to be a nod to George Orwell.) (The destruction of the picture in the climactic Voldemort-Dumbledore battle is a lovely touch.) The trial scene did stay surprisingly close to the book, which was good. And, of course, Jason Isaacs' little bit with Cornelius was so Lucius Malfoy...I think Makani has a great piece of fanart for it somewhere (I'll link to it later). ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: When had Jason Isaacs not had Lucius down perfectly? Of course, there was the whole 'Well, let us hope Harry Potter will always be around to save the day,' thing, but that is Steve Kloves' fault.) ([personal profile] firstlightofeos: Point.)

Then came the whole King's Cross scene, with Sirius (about time he got the amount of screen time he deserves) and the picture...lovely how they didn't show Pettigrew , but we did like how they showed the Longbottoms. (Wasn't Alice blonde, though?) ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: She was. Also, Sirius reminded me of Fuzzy Bear, or whatever his name was, from Starsky and Hutch. Well, the coat did.) The Voldemort in a suit thing, was, of course, odd, but then again, it worked a bit, because there's the whole "Voldemort is haunting Harry all the time," idea in this movie. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Voldy wears Prada!)

Thestrals and Luna: Brilliant. Evanna Lynch is a perfect Luna; she has the dreamy-yet-lucid-and-surprisingly-insightful character we have all come to love down pat, and I hope to see more of her in the coming movies, though she did have a bigger role in OP than she does in HBP. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Only 11 days until we find out how big her role is in DH!!!) (*pause for fangirly squeeing*) The thestrals did appear quite nicely, and the later scene with Luna and the baby thestral was, I'm sure, fodder for the Harry/Luna shippers. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Hey, he took her to Slughorn's ball, and I think they're good for each other. Neville should get Ginny. All complaints may be posted in my journal.) (I dunno. I can see it, but I do like Harry/Ginny.)

Next: Umbridge. *shakes head* She was...amazing. First, there was her speech at the start of the year, and her cutting off Dumbledore (where were his glasses, by the way? I think we saw them once in that movie...not that we saw him all that much, true, but still!)...and, of course, it was nice that they preserved some of the lines from the book. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Dumbledore's glasses are with the two-way mirror, Regulus, Lily, and all of the Weasley is Our King stuff at St. Mungo's.) (...That was beautiful.) Imelda Staunton really did do a wonderful job portraying a woman who is arguably the most detestable character in the Harry Potter books. And the chorus of cats in her office seriously sounded like they were being tortured... ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: It was so good, that I'm going to publicly warn Imelda Staunton to stay away from me, for her own safety. Because if she wears pink and goes 'Hem, hem'.....) The blood quill scene was exceedingly creepy, as well...we were holding hands to get through it without making any noises of righteous anger. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: CHILD ABUSE.) I do think they went a little overboard with the Decrees, though..."All boys and girls must stay at least 8 inches apart from each other?" Nice touch, I guess, but...a little excessive.

Trelawney: I love Emma Thompson. So much. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Anyone else ship Trelawney/Lockhart? Art imitates life.) In her few minutes of screen time, she was brilliant. I did, as always, feel sorry for her when Umbridge decided to sack her, and loved Dumbledore's "You can't do everything" interception ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: KUNG FU DUMBLEDORE!! HI-YAH!), though the sacking did come a little early in the movie. However, I can understand why it was done. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: The music was a little too dark and depressing for the scene. I think they made the scene a little too depressing. I mean, it isn't a happy scene, not at all, but they made it sound like she was dying or something.)

Then, the D.A. This is probably the part of OP that the movie held true to the best. (That sentence is screwed up in more ways than I care to count, but it is now 4:20 in the morning and I can't be bothered.) *grins* I have to say, having the goats in the Hog's Head was perfect, as we all know that the bartender is, indeed, Aberforth Dumbledore, who, as we know, has some kind of issues with goats. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Aberforth/Insert-Famous-Goat-Here.) The meeting was...all right; didn't love it, didn't hate it, and the finding of the room was...too easy. Neville just walking by, and Hermione conveniently knowing what it was? Granted, she is the know-it-all, but still.([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Them 1000 [pages of information] in Hogwarts, A History might have said something... you know, I hope that Jo writes that after the encyclopaedia.) Oh, well. And the Patronus Charm scene was rather cheesy, though it was nice having a moment of happiness in an otherwise dark movie, and seeing important people's Patronuses was good. (Hermione's was so cute!)

The Kiss: More like a make-out session, but okay. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: They conveniently had a shot to show that hands were safely at each others' sides, so no feeling up. Thankfully, the kiss was still 'Wet'.) And, of course, Hermione's best line ever, about Ron having the emotional range of a "teaspoon," stayed in, which made me happy. (As a side note: So many Ron/Hermione moments in here...thank GOD the film-writers have stopped putting in Harry/Hermione clues; it makes me so much happier. I mean, please. Ron/Hermione: The OTP of this series. Been there since Book 1.)

The Dream-Snake: Creepy. Very, very, very creepy. This is a good thing; I think they did that scene pretty well. We were rather surprised at Arthur Weasley's amazing ability to enter the Hall of Prophecies, but I suppose it increased the dramatic value. Capslocky Harry had some fun in there, yelling at Dumbledore...and then we suddenly segued very quickly into Occlumency. (Shortest screen time for Alan Rickman, I think, was in this movie.) Kind of sudden, but it sort of worked, though we do think that it's a little hard on poor Harry to suddenly have this dream, not know what's happening to him, flip out at Dumbledore, and suddenly have Snape invading his mind. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: I'd have more sympathy for Harry if he wondered, you know, why Dumbledore had his Dad's invisibility cloak, what his parents did for a living, etc. Also, I think I figured it out: Michael Gambon heard about a character in the books being a Caps-Lock, and thought it was Dumbledore in GOF. tut, tut.)

Christmas was so brief it doesn't even count. However, our cheesy moment with Sirius and Harry and family references came in, as did Sirius' running away...There was also a significant lack of a certain member of the Black family (*cough*R.A.B.*cough*), Phineas was burned off the tree, and there was no cleaning and therefore no heavy locket, thus causing us to wonder about significances. (However, at this point, we're firm supporters of the "Regulus Black is R.A.B." theory, because it makes sense.)

Hagrid's return came next. No mention of Madam Maxime, though I can't say I was surprised...the shorter Hagrid's dialogue, the more they could fit in of Grawp--whom, I must say, I was surprised to see; I thought they'd cut him out. But then again, he does help with Umbridge, so I suppose we must have him. The bit with him and Hermione was...kind of cute, I guess, and I kind of felt proud of "Hermy" when she held her own...and Ron's overprotectiveness was so cute! ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: It was, it was. Also, what was with the weather? It was raining all the time, even Hagrid pointed it out. Bad metaphor, Mr. Screenwriter.)

The Azkaban Breakout: Lovely. Helena Bonham Carter...perfect Bellatrix, really. Does her so well. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Bellatrix likes to lick Dark Marks. Also, two paragraphs ago was the only paragraph where I haven't interjected so far.) (Lovely points, Christine. Bella is gross and twisted. Let's move on.)

By the way, there were a lot of weird newspaper montages. They kind of worked, but they were also kind of odd, with the transitioning from black-and-white to colour and then back again, and the talking and weirdness. Oh, well. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: But noooo, they couldn't say that Fudge is baking Goblins into pies. One shot of the Quibbler, but no idea what the cover story was.)

Next: The breaking up of the D.A. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: CHO. CHO. CHO. CHO. I think Lily is chilling with Marietta as well.) (They did later excuse Cho; Snape says Umbridge used the last of his Veritaserum interrogating "Miss Chang." Still, it was a quick, easy way to get rid of Harry/Cho.) I did have fun with the making fun of Argus Filch bits, though, and the fake sweets was a nice touch. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: I think it was the most Filch was in a film.) But Umbridge catching the whole of the D.A. and making them all write lines...pure torture, plain and simple. Simply awful. Did love Dumbledore's escape, with Fawkes, who is omgsoamazing. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: See, only Harry should have had detention, but Dobby was knitting a tea cozy and was too busy to warn Harry. I'm disgusted with you, Dobby, and shall be rooting for Kreacher if they put in the fight scene next book. Well, no, not really, but whatev.) Oh, and they had Percy, which was nice, but a) he wasn't named and b) there wasn't any mention of the infighting among the Weasleys. Made me kind of sad. Also, we had no Bill...please tell me there will be Bill/Phlegm next movie. I really did like the Weasley women (+Hermione)'s reactions to her.

As a random note: We forgot to mention Sirius' head in the fire (don't remember when it was), but it was done well this time; his head was actually in the fire. Done well.

Right. Then came the last Occlumency lesson, also known as the pathetic attempt at portraying Snape's Worst Memory. First of all: no pensieve. Thus, the memory was doomed to be short. Second: WHERE THE HELL WAS LILY EVANS, AND "IT'S MORE THE FACT THAT HE EXISTS, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?" (Or even the line about the Giant Squid that spawned so many Lily/Squid fics?) I felt very bad for the actress whom we were told had been cast as the young Lily...that's kind of got to suck. Didn't much care for James' appearance, either... ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Her name was Susie Shinner. Also, for some reason, Snape has told everyone about Levicorpus.) (The D.A. did certainly use that frequently as a verbal spell, true.) ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: You know, battles that are all non-verbal must be really boring to watch. I hope Harry screams 'AVADA KEDAVRA' when he kills Voldy.)

Charms O.W.L./Fred and George's finest hour: I was kind of saddened by the quality of the fireworks. Come on, where was the sparkler spelling out dirty words? (My favourite moment was seriously the one with the one that spelled out "POO.") Did like the dragon and the explosion of the decrees, though; very nice touch. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: My favourite bit is, 'Give her hell from us, Peeves!' Also, they changed the name of the jokeshop to Weasley and Weasley.) (Well, there's no Peeves in any of the movies, so...whatevs.)

Harry's collapse while watching the fireworks, and the vision of A little soon, but understandable. The rest of the movie stayed pretty true to the book, honestly; I was very impressed. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Voldemort tied Sirius' hands behind his back.) (Why is that significant?) ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: No dirty handwork!!!) (You're awful.) ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: I know.) There was a distinct lack of rooms in the Dept. of Mysteries, and Sirius' death was...well. It's interesting that in the movie, Bella says, "Avada Kedavra," while in the books, it's a red jet of light. The slow-down and falling through the veil was done well, as was Harry's wanting to go after him and behind held back by Lupin. I did, however, kind of like the Sirius-and-Harry fighting together bits, which, while cheesy, seemed to work. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: You know, I'd be far more upset if Sirius was as hot as he is supposed to be. Also, Sirius says, 'Good one, James!' to Harry, and Harry stops, slightly flabbergasted. Nice touch.)

A few notes on the Prophecy: 1. Didn't mention that it was Sybill Trelawney to Dumbledore. 2. Didn't mention the possibility of Neville (I'm not sure they even mentioned the 7th month dying). ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: They didn't.) 3. Everyone heard it; it was said aloud as soon as Harry grasped it. 4. Harry gives it to Lucius, who then breaks it. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: HA HA, SUCKA!) 5. Dumbledore actually says that Harry has to kill Voldy...much less ambiguous in the movie than in the book. 6. Doesn't mention the parents who have "thrice defied" Voldemort. Actually, they completely miss out on the second line of the prophecy, though the rest was correctly worded.

And now, the much-anticipated Dumbledore-Voldemort showdown. First of all, before Dumbledore showed up, the whole Voldemort telling Harry to perform the Cruciatus on Bella and really mean it thing...Palpatine and Count Dooku in Revenge of the Sith, anyone? And then, of course, there were further references to Star Wars with the Voldy-Dumbles battle, with all the coloured lightning. The wands connecting...interesting, though it will remind many viewers of the Priori Incantatem effect from GF. I have to say that my favourite moment came when Dumbledore turned all of the glass shards Voldy fired at them into sand. That was just beautiful. The fountain didn't play a part at all, though...and the possession was pretty huge, with lots of memory flashbacks, both good and bad. And Harry realizing that Voldy didn't know anything about love/ Not my favourite part; I rather liked having Dumbledore tell Harry about that. (Speaking of love: Lack of the locked door. Seriously.) ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: HBP will be a really bad movie. Too much story to tell and the final battle isn't much of a battle, given Harry is frozen under his invisibility cloak for part of the time. Maybe Dobby could unfreeze him, although he's probably too busy too.)

The ending was, thankfully, not as cheesy as those of the other films have been. It wasn't too bad, and it was nice having all six of the Department of Mysteries Gang together at the very end. ([profile] writing_freak88 interjects: Who else knew that Hogsmeade station was in the middle of the woods? Nope, me neither.)

A few final comments:
-Ron/Hermione! Finally! Hooray!
-The Harry/Ginny moments were lovely.
-Luna: Amazing.
-Umbridge: Ditto.

[profile] writing_freak88's final comments:
-Keeps to the book far better than other films. ([personal profile] firstlightofeos: *agrees vigorously*)
-They mentioned beating up a ten-year-old, is it too much for him to be called Mark Evans?
-Some poor cinematography.
-The soundtrack was acceptable, although GOF was still my favorite.
-There were a few things that made me go 'HUH???', a few that made me go 'AWWW', and a few that made me happy, and a few that made me want to kill someone. So it was overall pretty good.
-Film critics are going to give it good reviews; Pot-Heads (what I like to call our little fandom) are going to be possibly misled and may be disappointed. I think it's overall good.
-Something happened to Voldy's nose. It looked weirder than usual.
-This is one really long entry.

Date: 2007-07-10 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] christycorr
You are all wrong in the head.

Random comments:
- There's an < i > tag misplaced there.
- There is a Phineas burnt off the BFT.
- They created new Decrees? Wtf.
- They said they'd introduce the locket later. Same about Regulus, I presume.
- What, no Stubby Boardman? How depressing.
- They'd warned us that it would be Cho, not Marietta... That was expected.
- See, only Harry should have had detention, but Dobby was knitting a tea cozy and was too busy to warn Harry. I'm disgusted with you, Dobby, and shall be rooting for Kreacher if they put in the fight scene next book. - made me laugh.
- Oh, and they had Percy, which was nice, but a) he wasn't named and b) there wasn't any mention of the infighting among the Weasleys. - okay, what, how exactly does this work? *scratches head*
- Re: non-verbals, I was under the impression that the Unforgivable Curses had to be spoken; they usually are, in the books, at least.
- "they changed the name of the jokeshop to Weasley and Weasley" WTF. HERESY.
- Oh my God, did they seriously butcher the Prophecy? Gah!

Psh. I'm not sure whether I'm going to like this movie.

Date: 2007-07-10 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I know, I know. (I'm really, really tired right now, too).

Date: 2007-07-10 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm going to assume the "you" is collective in this case. Thank you. *grins* Coming from you, dear, that's quite a compliment.

-Is there really? Have never seen the BFT, and would therefore not know. They spelled it "Phineus," too, which was odd, and the man playing Phineas Nigellus' portrait was billed as such in the credits.
-We got up to 102 or something. It got a little excessive.
-Mm. I guess so. We'll have to see...
-*laughs* Yeah, well. Can't have everything. We didn't have Rita Skeeter or the Quibbler article, either...the only bit we saw of the Quibbler was that Luna was reading it when we first met her.
-Please. I don't pay attention to movie gossip. (Christine was upset by the lack of the "SNEAK" pustules.)
-*grins* We love Christine.
-Well, okay. When they came to arrest Dumbledore, Percy Weasley was there, but no one addressed him by name or anything (he was restraining Harry, though), and then when the Ministry officials arrived to see Voldemort's return, he was right behind Fudge, but again not mentioned, nor did he have any lines anywhere.
-*shrugs* Perhaps. I'll have to reread the section on non-verbal spells again before I say anything about them.
-Well, they didn't say anything about "Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes"—nor did they say anything about the actual title of the jokeshop, for that matter. I think it's reasonable to conclude that they changed the name, though, which is complete heresy.
-Kind of, yeah. Bugged us, too; we had to hold in our disbelief when it started talking the moment Harry picked it up.

Mm. It's not a bad one, you know. There are just...little things. And a few major ones. I definitely liked it better than GoF.

Date: 2007-07-11 08:44 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] christycorr
Now that I've watched the movie...

- I'm BFT-obsessed. I was glad to see some people there, like Ursula Flint etc. Diana and I were spazzing, it was hilarious *grins*
- It did.
- It's actually 'Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes'. But I see your point..
- Mm. Yeah. Same here.

Definitely. At the moment, I'd even say that this is the best of them all... but I need to watch it again to be sure.

Date: 2007-07-11 02:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
One comment.. .I'm too tired.

I don't think everyone heard the prophecy. You hear it while the camera is zoomed in on Harry, but when the camera is viewing everyone else's reactions, you can't hear anything... and then it goes back to Harry and you hear it again. I think they were trying to do a you-can-only-hear-it-if-you're-holding-it thing...


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